CHRISTIAN LIFE & GROWTH

The Story of Life

Chapter 1 of a Book I really Hope He's Going to Finish

I love books. I love reading and I'm pretty sure it loves me back. Our relationship is perfect :) Books are actually the only thing I won't skip ahead on. Movies, TV shows, dessert...life...I usually want to know what's going to happen so I skip ahead or read about it on Google. I did it with Lost, Alias, New Girl, How I met your Mother, Big Bang Theory...I attempt to do it at life but sadly I can't read about it on Google. I really wish I could because I get so tired of waiting and guessing and wrestling with God about it — I wrestle with Him a lot. So instead I rebelliously just eat my cheese cake before dinner and take a small victory when I can :P

But not books...there is something about turning the pages and reading each chapter, taking it all in, that makes it so I don't want to skip ahead. I want to get everything I can off of each page and let the story unfold. I want the author to paint a picture of each character for me, experiences they have, lessons they learn, how they grow :)...I don't want to miss a single detail and I know such a story cannot be rushed.

I think God is trying to teach me something there. I think my life plays out more like a book than it does a TV special. There are so many chapters in my little book of life and I need to just let them all unfold. I'm trying to rush ahead and get to the ending...or what I want the ending to be. I keep trying to pick up the pen and speed up the process when really I'm just the ink. My life is written by the Author of life. He is holding the pen and writing His story. I get to be the ink and go where He guides me. He has beautiful handwriting and takes His time on each letter...each word...each sentence...

So here I am trying to learn to read my life slower...trust that the Author has a plot laid out so much more beautiful and perfect than I could ever conjure up in my little ink brain.

Honestly, I'm scared. I won't deny I worry about how important of a character I will play. And I struggle with trust — what if I'm lost somewhere in the storyline of the book, lost in the pages, and He forgets to finish my small little part. I know it's not about me but what human being doesn't want to get a chapter or two of happiness? Especially us girls. Come on — if you deny that you want to have that happily ever after chapter in your story I will seriously call you a liar and point you to my friend Pinocchio...and nobody wants that :)

I was so scared that I started the planning stage. I thought I would put in the work for God I thought I had my story all set and prepared. I even wrote a rough draft of it, mailed it to God, had the characters set, plot laid out chapter by chapter. I just needed Him to put His blessing on it and seal the deal. Sadly I think that got tossed in the trash — lovingly of course. He may have even patted me on the back for good intentions. But needless to say, He likes to be the author, and will in fact not allow us to settle for anything less than what He wills for our life. Our God is a God we get to call Abba, and sometimes what we desire isn't quite what He has in store because He also is a protector :)

So here I am...waiting...waiting to turn the page and see what lies ahead. My heart is as open as it can be at this point and I'm trying my best not to reach ahead...I'm impatient...I'm beyond anxious…

But I'm waiting. I'm waiting to see what My perfect Dad writes next…

Image credit: Naarassusii, "Under my Dreams;" Creative Commons

Tags: Biblical-Truth | Christian-Life | God-Father | Personal-Life

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Published 5/8/2014