To the Broken

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What I am about to say isn't really fair to you, but let's be real, living with constant pain isn't really fair to me. So here it is: you need to just bite the bullet and keep inviting your broken friend not matter how many times they say no. There is some part of choosing to love the broken that means being selfless and understanding that we come with a lot of hard things to love. We say yes as often as we possibly can. If we can handle going out, we will. Most of the time, if we say no its simply because we have nothing left in us to give.

Please also don't think that its personal. We want to go out! OH HOW WE WANT TO GO OUT!! There are just so many things we have to think about when we go out. These are the things that I think about: Is the place handicap friendly? How many steps are there? How many people will be there and do I have to worry about people knocking me over? Do I have to keep my leg in an uncomfortable position for very long? If we are having dinner, do I have to navigate a buffet or is the food on the table? Do I have to do a bunch of small talk and cover my pain or can I be transparent?

So again, if you are going to choose to love a broken, please choose to continue to invite us to things, even if we may say no. Please don't forget us. You can skip the invitation to the mountain climbing event, or the 25-mile bike ride. I obviously can't do that. However, I would love to go to a movie, or have dinner, or just sit and talk...IF I HAVE THE ENERGY. Please keep asking, please please please keep asking.

Ask Questions
Now this one piggybacks off of the last one. It really is ok to ask us questions. I don't mind talking about all this...obviously. There is so much that can be learned by direct and honest conversation. If people would take the time to find out what my limitations are, they would know what kind of things to invite me to. If people asked what restaurants were easiest for me to go to, or which movie theatre was the best for me, or even if they knew the basics of what I need then I would be able to go out more. If you are willing to love a broken, that includes choosing to do things differently because our whole life is about different. Everything we do is done differently than you. So take the time to simply ask your broken what exactly they need.

Don't Take Away What I Can Do
This one is pretty straight forward. There are so many things in this life that I can't do. I can't walk without help, I can't shower without sitting down, I can't carry my plate from the kitchen to the living room unless I'm in my wheelchair, and its goes on and on. So, here's the deal, when there is something that I can do...LET ME DO IT! I've learned to get the door for myself, drive, and I'm sure there are other things. There are so few things that I can do myself that when you insist on doing them for me or get mad or offended when I don't let you help, it strips me of another thing I can do. I feel helpless enough; please don't make it worse. Let me be useful where I can be useful. I'm useless enough.

So, there you go. Practical ways to love the broken. These are just a few of the many ways that you can love the broken. Honestly, the reason I choose these four is they have come up in conversation lately. I don't think about these things, I live them every day. I don't realize how things people do affect me until it happens. I am sure more things will come up and when they do, I will let you know about them. But for now, that's enough.

Image: Kersley Fitz; "Cowboy Boot Day"

Tags: Christian-Life | Hardships | Personal-Life | Personal-Relationships

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Published on 4-17-17